I recently had the misfortune to be in the company of two women, one of whom I knew, who, over dinner, slagged off an absent ‘friend.’ Actually, they didn’t just slag her off… They damn well savaged her!
I had nothing to contribute to the conversation. I didn’t know the absent woman but was asked my opinion a few times. Like, “Is it normal to still be breastfeeding your year old baby?” My answer of, “Well it’s not unusual,” didn’t go down well.
The brutalisation went on for what seemed to me like ages fuelled by alcohol. I began to feel nauseous, my body reacting to the toxic energy, and I left with an excuse as soon as I could.
Given the woman I knew is ‘family’ and seems to operate by ‘a very small world according to her’ and anything outside of her beliefs-values-perceptions is ‘wrong,’ with shock I realised I too have probably been the topic of her savaging in the past. And might well be in the future!
If they slag off someone else in front of you, you can be pretty damn sure they’ll slag you off too!
Sharon, you gorgeous and generous being, get outta here! Yes, I know she’s probably insecure. Yes, I know she’s probably unconscious. Yes, I know she’s probably been influenced by the ‘how it is’ of her upbringing and culture.
Not my circus, not my monkeys!
Not that I’ve never been or am not at times gossipy. But, hey, enlightenment takes a few thousand years… and I am working on it.
What I notice is that when I’m full on aligned with my TRUTH, there’s no urge to gossip, i.e., to talk idly, especially about the affairs of others. I can observe it happening without judgement and not get drawn in.
At other times, oh how I love a juicy gossip. The ooos and ahs of it create delicious bonding with certain women with whom there’s reciprocal safety. And maybe talking about other people is part of the glue which binds us together socially.
Slagging off or savaging others with mal-intent is most definitely not!
Love to you…