You know how it is when you’re used to giving-giving-giving. Just the thought of doing something for yourself or having a bit of me-time feels wrong. Even the thought of doing something for yourself or having me-time can bring on the ‘guilts’ big time!
Women’s liberation seems to have passed a whole pile of we women by. For women’s liberation read women NOT feeling guilty if they put themselves first. Women knowing they have a right to self-care, respect and nourishment… including YOU.
That means looking at your life to recognise what does and doesn’t work for you. Then you have the opportunity to change what doesn’t work into what you desire instead.
What I desire instead! Are you kidding?
I’m no woo-woo space cadet with her head in the clouds. I know some women are in situations where they truly believe, ‘I can’t do that’ or ‘better the devil I know than the devil I don’t.’ Or would have the guilts just thinking of making things better for themselves. Oh no!
I understand. Until I grabbed my balls and started doing something about what caused pain in my life, I believed what you believe too. But once you take the first baby step you realise the finger of God doesn’t electrocute you and the end of the world is not nigh.
You know what else? You don’t have to turn your life upside down or eradicate everyone from your life if you don’t want to. You also don’t have to deal with everything at once. Just one issue at a time, bit by bit.
O M G! Make myself happier? Focus on me? It’s so self-indulgent. So selfish. What about friends who need me to be there for them? What about my partner, kids, family blah blah blah?
If you’ve read this far you should be feeling really guilty. Go on, screw the knife in!
Here’s the thing…
Make a list of every-one who has a call on you… family, friends, as well as people at work and at leisure activities.
Put beside each name the energy you give to them from 0 to 10. 0 is giving them no energy and 10 is giving them heavy duty energy.
Go down the list again. Put beside each one in %s how much of your energy you give to them freely and how much you resent giving. Don’t lie! Even the kids. I don’t know a mother alive who couldn’t do with a break.
Lastly, beside each one, using the 0 to 10 scale, put how much energy they give to you. Get real! Is the number you wrote a fantasy? Is it what you’d like to believe they give to you or what they really give to you?
Finally, write your name at the bottom of the list. (Isn’t that exactly how you feel sometimes?) Using a 0-5 scale with 0 being none and 5 being the most, write down how much of your energy you give to yourself on a regular basis.
My #7Step home study programme could help you move from guilt to how you desire to feel instead. Or from an issue the exercise threw up that you don’t want in your life to what you do. Only saying…
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